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  • Chris Keen

He's one of the ladies...

I genuinely love writing this blog and I get messages all the time from men who are about to get married to somebody in the military and become a 'male military spouse.'


Most of the time they’re looking for an insight into the life and what it’s like and I love writing back, answering their questions and sharing my experiences...


The other day I was asked a question and I thought... I should definitely write a blog about that because it’s just one of those things that does happen and it’s just accepted as the norm, as ‘banter’.


The question was... ‘Do you just become one of the ladies?’


Now at first it made me chuckle but then as I thought about it, I thought... Actually yeah you kind of do lol.


It's one of those phrases that you’ll hear all the time within the military spouse community mainly because the majority are women. So when you have a male in the mix, it’s ‘banter’ that he becomes one of the ladies...


It also happens with those serving too, you’ll hear... ’It’s alright, she’s one of the lads’ when the majority are men and you have a woman in the mix.


Most will take it as banter but others won’t... So is it right that a member of the opposite sex has to ‘become’ one of the other to fit in?


Of course the answer is no, not really, everybody should be made to feel comfortable whoever they are and whatever environment they're in.


I read a really interesting article the other day about code-switching...


Code-Switching is a survival technique, a tool to help people seamlessly blend into different social and professional situations, particularly where you are a minority.


The article definitely wasn’t about military spouses and the military community but I suppose the same principle applies.


Since I’ve been a military spouse which is only 8 years tbf, being 'one of the ladies’ has always been a thing and I’m sure it was a thing way before I became a spouse and will probably be a thing long after too.


As I always say... This sort of thing doesn’t really bother me, but I know it bothers others and I try to write and reflect those people in my blogs.


Isn’t it time we stopped stereotyping in order to affirm that someone fits into a group they are submerged in?


I think it’s a case of reading the room...


The world we live in at the moment, people get easily offended, but surely we'll stop causing any offence if we just stop identifying the difference of the one that stands out and accept that we live in a much more diverse world where anyone can be anything.

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